How to have my morning in 25 easy steps.

1. Go out to your car to take the kids to school.
2. Realize your car battery is probably dead because the fob won't work to unlock it.
3. Try to start the car.
4. Leave the keys in the car, close the door, but not until you push the lock button. (You think you have the keys in your hand because you're holding something that isn't keys)
5. Yell at your 10 year old to close the front door before the dog gets out.
6. Realize as the door shuts that the handle is probably still locked.
7. Confirm the handle is locked.
8. Go to the neighbor's and ask for help.
9. Watch in slight horror as your neighbor easily uses his YMCA card to break into your house. (thanks, Dave!)
10. Call AAA.
11. Get the car unlocked, get car jumped, thank tow truck dude #1, take kids to school.
12. Get to school, turn van off, run in to check kids in and take a refill of meds to the nurse for the above mentioned 10 year old.
13. Get youngest daughter, who is wearing footie pajamas and pull on boots, buckled into car. Kiss her face.
14. Try to start car.
15. Hang head and try not to cry.
16. Call AAA again, pop hood, go into school and tell them why you're sitting in their no parking zone with your hood open.
17. Watch as tow truck dude #2 hooks up cables. Take a photo. Post to instagram, facebook and twitter.
18. Try to start car 14,142 times. Fail 14,142 times.
19. Try to start car one, last time. Kill the battery in the tow truck in the process.
20. Wait as tow truck dude #2 calls tow truck dude #3.
21. Watch tow truck dude #3 hook up cables to tow truck #3. Start car. Clap hands in delight, then feel embarrassed for responding like a 4 year old who just got a birthday present.
22. Thank tow truck dudes #2 and #3. Back up van carefully to leave parking lot.
23. Knock over orange parking cone.
24. Nearly hit tow bar thingy on back of tow truck #2. Get winked at by tow truck dude #3.
25. Drive around Everett for half an hour so battery can charge up. Get a coffee at Starbucks and do not feel guilty. You freaking deserve it.