Being Married to Musician

**UPDATE** Please see this post for my thoughts on being married to a musician.  Thank you!

 

 

I have been bombarded with hits to my blog from people googling three similar things:

Being married to a musician

Being a musician's wife

The life of a musician's wife

I was telling Brad that I didn't think I had enough posts that were easy to find about being a musician's wife and that I was worried I wasn't hitting on the topics people most want to know about.

I realize that part of it is that many people want to know what it's like to be married to a famous musician.

I can't help you there.  My man is currently working his arse off just being a musician.  He's playing lots of gigs around Seattle and is planning two mini-tours for as soon as the album is done, but he is far from being well known outside our circle in Seattle.  For now. ;)

However, I know there are plenty of other people out there who are married (or committed in some way) to musicians and that's why they're coming to my blog.

For some answers.

But I really don't feel like I know the questions.

So, readers.  I know you're out there.  I know you may just be stopping by on some quest for information. 

I really, really want to help you!  

What do you want to know?  If I don't have the answer I will find someone who does.  

Non-musician's wife people:  Do you have any suggestions of what people may want to know?  

You can post comments totally anonymously...you have to leave an email but that won't be seen by anyone but me, and if you don't put a name I will assume you desire to be unknown.  That's totally okay.  Use an alias if you wish.  Whatever.  (Rude comments will be deleted, though.)

Help me help you.

HELP ME HELP YOU!!

 

 

Comments

[Cindy]

And wanted to add, I am a strong and independent woman, but when I'm in love and grow close with man, I think it's only natural to want to share life experiences with him regularly. I think I know what I have to do before I am married and locked into a situation which will probably make me unhappy. I am dreading it but am believing more and more that I have to end the relationship before I commit to a life with an absent partner. What would he be sacrificing for me? Nothing. Because music will always come first and I don't envision or desire a marriage partnership
Like that. I think the best- though hardest- thing to do is let him go so I dont emotionally hold him back from realizing his dreams, and free myself up for someone who wants the same things out of life as me, someone who is excited about living life with me, and has a stable career yet is able to put me and family life above all else. I don't think I can live as a wife or even girlfriend of a traveling musician. I am already longing for more and he's not even in the thick of the touring yet. Just a few days ago he told me,"I love you more than you'll ever know." But As deeply as I love him, and as much as I don't want to let go of his soul, it's simply not a life for me. I don't know how to continue to happily support him to tour to the degree he is looking for, because I'm also
I want to cry any time he talks about the band and tour dates they have lines up because I know it's the start of a life of always being gone.

[anne]

•I don't know if this blog is still running but I had to paste something in that I wrote in my journal today. I have been married to a musician for two months. He is 61 and I 53. I understand that the music is the thing that makes us fall in love with them in the first place. But I see so much sadness and pain here. It's not all that bad for me but his ex was the lead singer in his band and he wants me to learn to sing from her. We keep getting asked to her family stuff and it's not cool! That's the worst part. He sees it as just another singer and doesn't understand why I am being so petty. I know he loves me very much and he is honest and loyal and true. But we are still in two houses as I amtrying to sell mine to move in with him and there is no evidence that he is making room for me. There are instruments and equipment everywhere. You can't lie down on a bed or cook or sit on a couch because there are fiddles, guitars, amps, cords, strings every every where. My husband is known in the local circle but thankfully not famous. I have watched him play, sitting alone in the audience. don't like it. I am learning to sing and play banjo and guitar but he has a 40 year head start on me. He will never find the “right” fiddle but will always enjoy looking for it.
• Even if he claims that you are the most important thing in his life right now, it’s not true. Music is the most important thing in his life. You may have been a temporary distraction, but music has climbed back to the top. He will always choose an opportunity to play with other musicians who play at his level over spending the night with you. It’s a good thing you have many other interests and hobbies to keep you busy. Don’t dwell on it. It’s just who he is. If you want to keep some kind of attraction, then work on music and hold yourself apart from him once in a while. Let him run to you. Keep busy and never stop growing musically or with your own hobbies.
• Being his number one would be nice but it’s not the most important thing in life. The most important thing for you is to enjoy your life even when you are not with him.

[Chris]

Shelia

I don't know how current you are or this site but I have a boyfriend who is a well known established artist and I would love to share with others who are the same. Would love support n give it

Chris

[Kimberly]

I'm currently updating my site and will be posting again soon. This is just my little blog, not a forum or discussion group so I unfortunately can't host much in the way of a support group. All I do is share my advice and stories. Thanks for reading, I hope my perspective is helpful to some. I love my readers!