I've felt myself morphing over the last few months, sort of waking up from the fog of survival into a place with more clarity of thought.
It has been like being in an airplane on the tarmac waiting for take-off on a cold and foggy Seattle morning. There have been several stages, from waiting at the gate, tired and bleary eyed (because I never sleep well before travel) to boarding the plane, stowing my baggage, getting buckled in. Then there is the waiting. I know I'm on the right plane but I'm not sure where it's going and I can't see much out the window because it's so dreary out.
Then there is the take off, the stage of expectation and that twinge of fear for all the what ifs. The landscape blurs as we barrel down the blacktop and then that feeling of the reality of gavity pressing my body into the seat which reminds me every time that flying is not natural for humans. Exhilarating, yes. Second nature? No. Not for me, at least.
Now I feel like my flight has reached it's cruising altitude above the clouds and rain and fog. Up here there is sunlight and I can see for miles. Occasionally we jet through banks of view obsucring clouds, but not for as long as before.
I still don't know where I'm going but I do know I'm where I'm supposed to be right now, in this moment.
I have all these ideas about what I want to do, what I could do, where we should go, what we could be. Now is the time to figure all that out. It's exciting. I'm ready. With my man and my kids by my side I have the feeling we could do anything!
Now, for focus. Narrowing the field of view. Choosing my adventure. Choosing our adventure.
Of course, there are boundaries. That's life. We don't get to just fly wherever, willy-nilly. We need a flight plan and the foundation for the plan is our faith and our comitment to one another.
Now to figure out what stops we need to make along the way!